is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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