If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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