I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
