Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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