well I can't set my house on fire every night
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
