thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
did you just send me my own nude
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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