I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
