He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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