Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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