I just cut my nipple shaving
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
