Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
