Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
