Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i drank out of a bidet.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize