i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
