butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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