my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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