if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
