We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
