I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
