I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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