Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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