there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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