sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I currently don't understand fingers.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
