get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
