I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
