glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
