I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
