why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
