gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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