i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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