This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Houston, we have a blender
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
