I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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