Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
