I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize