Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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