Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
