idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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