Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
