Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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