Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
