How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize