i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
