was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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