I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
