Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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