this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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