sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize