And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
