You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
