i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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