apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
