Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
