My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
