So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
