If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
