I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
