Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize