I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
