I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
