i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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