1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize