i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
