Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We're too hungover to prance.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
