Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize