I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
