Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
