K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
