let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
