how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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