My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize