Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think I won the penis lottery.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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